February 2012
2 posts
1 tag
I am really in love with ryan jay
he makes my heart swell up and burst open into small sparks and bits of light that singe and sink up like they are smoldering and he fills my stomach with bumble bees and hornets, buzzing and humming and colliding into my belly button and the tips of my ribs and he splits my smile wide open with my jagged teeth showing like some sunlight coming in through the...
dancing to Don McLean with the TV muted and the music real loud
and in a month’s time I’ll be making a new home with my love
and in boxes and boxes I’ll bring everything I’ve got
my words and ideas and socks and shoes and sparks and kisses and hugs and high hopes
and in boxes and boxes he’s got his too
his jokes and innovations and pride and jeans and furniture...
January 2012
2 posts
We kiss in our sleep a lot
Somehow our lips find each other,
Collide into each other,
In the dark
1 tag
It’s safe to say we are a flame.
Time has given us much more than a spark, an ember, a soft glow
We’ve earned our fire and it has caught hold.
So we take that flame and we swallow it whole leaving soft plumes of smoke between our teeth
(firebreather, cotton mouth)
And we keep the flame kindled in the swell of our chests Right there in the center where it flickers and beats
Though...
December 2011
2 posts
“you look really pretty right now”
a stroke of unbelievable, overwhelming and unprecedented luck
a breath and then another
and you.
November 2011
16 posts
six and a half hours
tomorrow
please stop pushing
I miss
To hold and be held
a: are you sad?
2 tags
I am red hot and nauseous
and fuming
at the thought
of another.
I wrote the words first
it was me
it was me the whole fucking time
all buzzing on your paper
all blushing at your sentiments
all left behind
and I am infuriated
raging
at those perfectly curved letters
of a smith-corona
how fucking elegant, how glittering and delicate
and they aren’t even mine
1 tag
wanting
it’s so much harder to fall out of orbit than to fall in,
how difficult it is, to achieve escape velocity
to break away from all of the gravity of such a large body
something so long-lived, so elegantly evolved
Because I have accrued so much weight, picked up so many anecdotes, pocketed so many mistakes
how heavy time can be, how a memory can tug and pull, how a moment can be so...
weeks and weekends and weakened
and there is time
at least we have that
(five minutes ago)
tobenaked:
a duel between neurons and blood clots and I can’t break it up to save my soul
electricity builds, a static that doesn’t paralyze but still shocks, inflicts a reaction
the wince that suggests I need not forget the singe of our spark
it takes burns and blisters to really know what warmth means
so it is you
five months ago
3 tags
All speckled and spotted, caught up between threads and fibers, tangled and sewn tighter and tighter. This is how it feels to be interlaced, more than holding hands or holding up the line at the airport or holding onto all of my things. This is ease, this is comfort. Welled up and held onto. Not a smother, but a breath. Safe haven, refuge, a loch.
It’s not sounding tired, or sounding off or...
I miss the valley and the mountains
and being all filled up
and brimming
Under the pillow.
I don’t even know where to start
so I’ll stop here
forever carrying around this goddamn phantom limb
October 2011
10 posts
horrible, angry stress dreams
with yelling and screaming and sobbing
because it all has to go somewhere, right?
At first it’s all full of momentum
all faster and faster, quicker than you thought
and it picks up speed and picks you up, it drags you under
it gets heavy and heavier
tough and tougher
at first you’re drowning.
But there are universal laws at work, objective truths,
and friction kicks in, and Newton kicks in, and you begin to slow
and there’s light and lighter
and...
moon stained and sun dried,
road raged and immortalized
a phantom limb and an ache’s reprise
I’m keeping it
exactly where it is
where it’s been
because an oath is an oath
and I’m not shivering, shaking or trembling
I’m grounded
I wish I could be trapped in that moment eternally.
like an insect in amber, your head rested on my ribs, me crying my eyes out, cradling your face in my small small hands, struggling. Breathing together, scared and aware
all knowing
but just as it came it was gone and I was in the car on the way home all windblown and freezing cold, the further I drove, the more rapidly time pulled you away...
a: Why is it so hard to just love someone.
angered to tears
swelling white hot, all bristled and bad weathered
teeth crashing and crashing
why and why and why.
I just want to be held I guess.
2 tags
waning
it’s strange being around new couples,
all milky white in the light of the honeymoon,
all shiny and polished and clean
and it’s weird how when you’re a kid it seems like the moon is chasing your mom’s car on the way home in the dead of night
and you’re in the backseat, fingerprints allover the window, watching it
speed up!
it’s gaining on us!
and it tails...
September 2011
10 posts
“I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
writers make the mundane sound awfully romantic
I see a situation and I fluff it up, make an afternoon seem like an adventure
Because I can tell you that tonight I stood on the roof of the science building, I saw a shooting star, the Andromeda Galaxy and watched heat lightning while having a conversation about music, art and the past.
And I can leave out that I was being eaten alive by insects, that I was only star gazing because it was for...
WatchI am worried.
like if you’re optimistic then the problem will just go away
but it won’t
flinch
1 tag
I am spotted,
yellow bellied.
I feel all pent up,
like diamonds overdue
and while I swell and fall,
I do not curve and crash.
If not now, then when?
just talk to me
I’m pining to write about something that happened to me tonight, but I feel like it will lose its luster if I try to sum it all up
so these few phrases explaining why I can’t write it down will have to suffice
2 tags
up down up down
up
down
down
down
At times there are leftover hickeys that don’t go away, so you just have to wear em with pride because this summer you cut off all of your hair
August 2011
5 posts
I’ve always been one to emotionally flinch
diary entries, blisters, being tired, being weary, being in love is hard
6 tags
dustin o'halloran is one of the reasons I am in...
I don’t even know much about him, as a person. He didn’t introduce us. Send us to one another.
It’s funny because you didn’t even introduce me to his music. I think it’s the other way around. But for some reason, when you’re falling in love you need a melody to fall to and he was mine.
Soft and slow and delicate with dips and swells. Just like you.
...
3 tags
8/10/11
“love in the form of bursted blood vessels”
2 tags
July 2011
5 posts
jude
sealegslegssea:
my cousin of a cousin, Jude Barras, died last night in a car accident
He was always reckless. Even as kids he would do dares beyond my belief. Dares with two parts that always involved the participation of others.
“I’ll jump off of the wharf if you do!”
And then he was gone, plunging straight into that sleek pane of ice cold water. Cutting the smooth line into shards and...
be sweet to me
1 tag
the other home
Tucked away on a busy street in my town, there’s a house that looks exactly like mine. I noticed it years ago and as a child and it has always enchanted me.
The jagged rocks climbing up towards each gaping front window, the panes of glass stretching up the length of the garage, the metal door that screams when you let it slam behind you
It’s weird to see a place that looks like home,...